25 things (you don’t want to know) about me

Am flicking the ‘25 things about me’ tag from LOTS.

1. My pregnancy was planned and I was 27 at that time. When I was three months into it, during a discussion with the husband, I realized I had got the most basic and important fact about childbirth wrong! Don’t ask.
2. I don’t get the point of these long drawn debates over everything. It is just a bunch of people fighting over whose half-baked opinion is better than the others. Besides, I am always right. What’s there to argue? :p
3. I jump at an opportunity to give unsuspecting people, unsolicited advice. Like how a problem is only as big as you make it sound like and crap like that. Which is funny, because I turn into an ugly monster when I get angry, don’t understand logic and blame everybody who’s close to me for everything wrong in my life, except myself.
4. I judge people who can’t speak or write an Indian language, fluently. Though English may soon be counted as an Indian language, English doesn’t count. People go great lengths to learn German and Spanish and French(which is great), but never even consider picking up a local language. Having said that, I have to admit that I took French classes too, with the sole intention of showing off and shamelessly throw in the only two words I still remember during conversations.
5. I cringe at people who can only have fun at a party if the party is at an upscale restaurant. I really wonder whether their college had upscale canteens.
6. I can not read books that have long, verbose descriptions that serve no purpose other than being a display of the author’s vocab. Also as I grow older, my tolerance towards fiction is dwindling down.
7. I hated my school. To begin with, our principal like to be addressed as “big sir”. We had no vacation for Navratri, given that Navratri is huge at my place. Every other school had vacation and the rest of the kids danced away without worry till dawn. I had my fair share of fun too, but we had to attend school the next day. Most of the teachers were terrible too.
8. I wish I could go back in time and be a kid again, you know relive my childhood and everything. The only problem is I don’t want to write an exam again ever in my life. I am done with competing, thank you. That’s also the reason I never seriously consider studying some more.
9. I usually can not stick to one side of the argument. Take the SAHM vs working mom argument. I feel that stay at home women don’t get their due, don’t have a say in decisions, just because their work doesn’t pay. But then some just think it’s their birth right to live off their spouse’s money, just by being born as a woman.
10. On the other hand, a lot of working women get a raw deal too, they share the financial workload, but they get no help with the housework. And then there are bigshot women execs who keep their salaries as their pocket money, while expecting the partner to share chores at home. Talk about sharing responsibilities. So often I can’t take a side. To each its own is my motto.
11. I have no favourite colour or actor or perfume or make up brand. So stop asking. Don’t ever ask me “What’s your sunsign?” or “Oh so typical for your starsign”.
12. I don’t understand people who say they have no regrets in life. Of course, there are parts of my history that I am not proud of. How can people be proud of everything that they’ve ever done? Like I hate that I’ve let myself change from a free-spirited girl to a boring, fat, old woman.
13. I love a snack at midnight, especially if I’m sneaking into my kitchen when everyone else’s sleeping.
14. I don’t have a hobby. Whenever I feel like I play badminton. Or on a whim, paint a door. Or take off somewhere totally random. Or grow plants. I have a thousand ways to rejuvenate, but no “hobby”.
15. Call me an aunty, but I don’t understand what’s the big deal with clubbing. What’s so exciting about being in a dark, smoky room and wasting a LOT of money?
16. I own just 4-5 pairs of shoes at a time, including sneakers and chappals. I have two pairs of work shoes, only so that I won’t be stranded if one of them gave up. I can’t believe people have hundreds of pairs of shoes. How do they keep a count? Do they have a database  or is it all stored in their brains? Do they live in mansions with infinite storage space? How do they keep them clean?
17. I create small challenges on the fly, all the time. TLike while driving to work, in the traffic jam, I mentally create a challenge where if I overtake that dude in striped shirt before the next bump, my presentation will be a hit.
18. I sing really loudly under the helmet, while riding the bike. The cheaper the song, the better. Current favourite is lal lal hothon pe gori kiska naam hai. I really hope my helmet is sound proof.
19. My clothes have a knack of getting torn. A lot of the clothes in my wardrobe have tiny holes somewhere or the other. So a large part of my wardrobe is dysfunctional. Growing out of clothes far too often also worsens things.
20. Actually I think I’m gaining weight at the same rate as that of my 10 month old baby. I am shit scared.
21. I am officially de-addicted from TV. Now only if I could say that about the internet.
22. I have an OCD for constantly checking my emails, though I get very few emails. I developed this from college. But take away internet from me and I won’t miss it either.
23. It is regular for me to get bizarre dreams, not scary but bizarre. Like tata sumos flying around me, lizards turning into dinosaurs and what not.
24. I like to think that the characters that represent me most on TV are Elaine Benes (Seinfeld), Kramer (Seinfeld) and Phoebe Buffay (Friends).
25. I’ve had numerous instances involving lizards. Two times they’ve fallen on my head. Recently, I found one when I opened the storage under my bike seat. Lizards freak me out completely. I turn white in terror.

What!?? Is it over already? I just started to get the hang of it. There’s so much more the world needs to know about me. *Sigh…

So whoever is reading this, consider yourselves tagged.

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